


White Roses

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Confessions, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Hand Jobs, Heavy Angst, Love, M/M, Mild Language, Neck Kissing, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 12:38:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10334900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Levi's tired of Erwin throwing away his own life for the sake of humanity, and it just seems like he's going to lose him just as easily as he did with the others. Meanwhile, the superior is just on the verge of breaking apart and losing it. That is until emotions get blurred and Levi needs Erwin to know just exactly what he is thinking.





	

**Author's Note:**

> White Rose ~ the flower that symbolizes purity, absolute innocence, and above all, love that outstands others.

Erwin’s legs were languidly crossed at the end of Levi’s couch, which to his amusement, was the reason Levi was trying to attack him with his bare fists.

Well to be exact, he was just trying to push his feet off the furniture to preserve the, and Erwin quoted, “the hygienic state of his home”. He threw whatever common sense he had in him and tapped the tip of Levi’s nose, to which he slapped away harshly and continued spraying the floor with a purple liquid from a bucket that he’d named “bleach”.

“Levi, I’m hurt.”

Oddly, no response. Surprising for the man who always had a comeback to Erwin’s words, especially Erwin’s.

His feet went down and he got up properly, careful not to do anything that would agitate Levi further and walked up to his back with an unusual cautious demeanor.

“Love, if I did anything to anger you, I’m sor—“

“And I suppose that’s going to be the solution to everything now, isn’t it?” he grinded, trying lamely to feign enthusiasm and came across as biting sarcasm instead.

Words cut deep, and even though Erwin never had a reason to believe it, it felt like Levi’s words were cutting into him deeper than his physical scars. Knowing to respect his partner’s space when angry, he traveled back a few steps but left an arm timidly outstretched. The question wasn’t gone in any means, however. There were, and could be multiple, hundreds of reasons why Levi had become emotionally distant to him and the world, which took the commander to realize after years of reading and deducing every single action of Levi’s. 

A mop slammed into the floor rather forcefully, and he glanced up to find a firm line replacing the expected scowl on the dark-haired’s face. Knuckles turned white gripped the wooden part of the mop and shoved the cleaning tool under every surface he could get under, quite easy considering his height predicaments. Alright, Levi cleaned when he couldn’t get something out of his mind, easy enough. But the question was still there, leaving so many things unanswered. The battle to confront him about it bounced restlessly in his head until Erwin came to a decision, reaching around Levi with practiced ease to stunt any further movement from the mop and planted a gentle hand on his shoulder to ground him. Of course he struggled to restrain him so, though. Yes, Levi was only a few centimeters than 160, but that didn’t stop him from using all the muscle he’d accumulated over his orphan years plus his years with Erwin. It took five or six kicks to the blond’s shins before he at last became dormant.

“Let go of me, you tall-ass fuck,” stated Levi as a-matter-of-fact and sent a weak hook punch that missed Erwin by a long shot, hitting air instead over and over again. The man holding him down pushed back a few wisps of that slick raven undercut, but seconds became longer than minutes when his fingers started to linger on the edge of his cheekbone, rubbing it in comfort.

“Please tell me,” he gave up and plead, because damn how he looked. “…Levi…please…”

Another punch, even weaker than the last time. He didn’t bother trying to aim for Erwin and had his arm slung over one of his two broad shoulders. 

“I hate you…”

“I’m sure you do, but do you mind telling me why, love?”

“Stop…stop calling me that,” he kept denying with pathetic punches to the blond’s chest. “I—you’re always hurting me.”

It seemed that words cut not only deep, but killed as well. Sure, Erwin was used to the meaningless but loud commands he gave as a commander, and the occasional battle commandments he hollered over the fields to the other soldiers. Levi’s words were different—they weren’t hollered over anything, just croaked out faintly by a broken down man who kept saying he hated him. 

Perhaps. Perhaps Levi already knew for a long time neither of them were going to live long. The fight against the titans hadn’t been that victorious for awhile, which often resulted in Erwin collapsing at the door late at night with his jacket nowhere to be found or clothes tattered mercilessly. Levi would already be somewhere else, lecturing the younger kids for being out past curfew or getting flat-out drunk with Hanji and Mike. He wouldn’t blame him for doing it on purpose—he’s always had a certain way about dealing with stupid problems, another thing Erwin’s realized after years with Levi.

“I know I am—“

He snapped. Levi completely broke and shattered right in front of Erwin.

“No, you fucking don’t. You wanna know what you don’t fucking know? You don’t know how many nights I’ve spent with Four-Eyes and Mike trying to down so many goddamn shots of shit I don’t know! I don’t think you know how many excuses I have to make up just to stay awake in case you come home with all your clothes intact, and what I might have to say to the others in case you don’t. Sorry? Oh sorry’s a great fucking word. Sorry for getting hurt, sorry for making you worry—sorry’s nothing but a one-minded solution to ignore your problems for just another day, Erwin. How many times do you think I have to keep telling myself you’ll always come home because he will? That for once I can think about when I’ll get to talk to you instead of planning another soldier’s funeral—so please goddammit, Erwin!” 

You always hurt the ones around you, Erwin.

You didn’t do it for humanity, you did it for your own bastardized selfish self. 

Look what you’ve done to Levi. Are you happy yet—are you satisfied with this yet?

Erwin hated himself for existing in front of Levi in the moment, despised everything he claimed he “stood for” in the beginning. Because he’d loved Levi, and because Levi loved him back, he was only dragging the both of them down. It always happened, it always happened to him every single time.

Love had taken a toll on the commander and captain, it seemed.

Everything around you dies, Erwin, whether you want it to or not, they all die. Why bother anymore?

“Levi…I know—I know I’m not going to be alive for long. I’m well aware of that,” Erwin heaved, a bearing of hopelessness trapped in him. Every move he wanted to make seemed utterly selfish now.

The captain separated himself, leaving the mop to drop onto Erwin’s shoulder and reached towards him as if to say something, but stopped short. Afraid. Afraid and confused, was Levi at the moment. One click of the dark issued military boots and he trudged out with a sense of dread.

“Levi, if I can do just one thing for yo—“ hopelessly pleaded Erwin, but was cut off by the creak and shutting of the door.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Levi ran.

He ran for fuck knows how long. At this point, he was going to run over one of the cadets he was supposed to be keeping a watch out for. The heel of his boots clamored in the hallways, just about near waking up everyone in the military barracks.

I know I’m not going to be alive for long. I’m well aware of that.

For once, Levi wished that he could live a lie for once, instead of facing that hardline reality he called the truth. 

Why did he love Erwin so much? There was always the chance of him dying, never being able to see him again. Nothing was ever guaranteed in the Survey Corps, one of those things being life. Yet the urge to run his own calloused hand through that blond undercut and trace the outline of his lips bombarded him, ruining him until the ability to think was out of question.

His footsteps stalled, hitting the wall near his private quarters. Slamming his fist into the weary wood he heard a small piece of it splinter indefinitely.

Why did Erwin value his own life so little? Why was he so damn selfish like that?

He felt a heavy weight press up lightly against him, fingernails grazing the nape of his neck but not daring to go any further. Levi caught sight of Erwin’s signature bolo tie, his hair tickling the shell of his ear while he dropped his forehead to lean on his shoulder, muttering incomprehensible things. It was only until he actually sobered up, that he heard Erwin say something he could understand.

“Come with me,” he said, his hand sliding to his wrist and taking ahold of it tightly. “I need to show you this, it’s the truth.”

His voice sounded gruff, demanding at the most, but it seemed to Levi that he took extra care to not overwhelm him. The shorter of the two turned around, slowly, but enough to at least scan him down and what he was doing here.Tugging at his sleeve, he fidgeted with the fabric of Levi’s military jacket before ducking down to lift him up, holding him close enough for Levi to hear his own breathing contract and release. When he didn’t protest, Erwin carried on with his actions, getting ready to move elsewhere.

“Do you trust me?” he muttered and closed the distance between him and Levi by placing a small assuring kiss on the nose. The man responded by shifting around to find a more comfortable position, only to feel a slight bump in Erwin’s shirt pocket.

“And Levi—“

Reaching into the shirt pocket he pulled out a saggy rose, all white and with petals crooked at random angles. He placed it in Levi’s pocket of the jacket, patting it twice before returning to look at him for a response.

“The flower’s ugly and old, just like you, you know,” the man mocked in a flat-out cynical tone, but hooked his arm around the his superior’s neck and breathed in the horrendous aroma of dried blood and earth. “You smell horrific as well.” Another kiss on the nose, and a worried expression.

“Mm. I’m still waiting for the answer, though.”

“Show me, then. Show me what you have for me, ya old man.”

The commander made his way to his headquarters, the room where Levi would often come over to visit and occasionally do the do with him when they felt like it. On the trip there none of them made a move on each other, opting to stay quiet until they arrived. Soon however Levi’s back bumped into the hard surface of Erwin’s door, and was caught face to face with the blond’s annoyingly mesmerizing pair of eyes. 

He hooked a leg around Erwin’s hips, and that was all for Erwin to break down the door and shut it in record time without anyone seeing the both of them.


End file.
